


He Loves Me

by Lokincest



Category: Marvel, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Love, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Teen Angst, Thor and Loki love each other more than anything no matter what x_x, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1643972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokincest/pseuds/Lokincest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The meadow was full of these yellow daisies. They were bright, lovely, and golden. </p><p>Loki hated them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Loves Me

**Author's Note:**

> written for [tigertatze](http://tigertatze.tumblr.com/), who wanted teen Loki plucking apart flowers to find out if Thor loves him or not.

"He loves me," Loki muttered as he pinched a yellow petal between his fingers and plucked it from the flower in his hand. He let it go, and the petal fluttered away, landing in the grass. Loki plucked another thin yellow blade. "He loves me not."

Loki was sitting in the meadows, far away from the center of Asgard. It was peaceful here but still no place for a young prince to wander off alone when no one knew where he was. Not that anyone could even notice yet that he was gone, or care even if they did. Least of all Thor.

"He loves me," Loki said, tearing another petal away.

Dried tears streaked his face, but he was long done with crying. Now he just felt dull inside, made bitter by another disappointment. Sometimes he felt like he'd never learn, no matter how many times life tried to teach him... he can't have what he wants. Not anything that matters.

It's not like he even cares. But Thor's betrayal still hurts him most of all.

He _thought_ his brother loved him.

He used to think so.

The meadow was full of these yellow daisies. They were bright, lovely, and golden. 

He hated them.

Loki had torn dozens of them to shreds at first. He'd snatched the heads off, crushed them in his fists, and ripped apart the petals and stamens until his hands were stained yellow. But there were too many, and no matter what he did, they didn't diminish. They still sat happily in the sunlight, swaying in the gentle breeze... somehow quieter now, like when Thor smiled quietly in understanding, waiting for Loki to stop crying.

The tears had stopped then. Loki had sat down in a thatch of yellow flowers, sad and angry. Already he had been intent on tearing apart the flowers, but a childish method of divination came to mind unbidden. Thoughtless, he had started to pluck away petals one at a time.

_He loves me, he loves me not... He **loves** me._

The last petal had left Loki shaking, on the verge of tears again. Such a stupid game. It didn't even work. How could he be so unlucky?

So he tried again.

And again.

Angrier each time and trying not to cry.

_He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me **not.**_

_...He **loves** me._

Loki changed his method. These flowers had at least a dozen petals each. They couldn't possibly be _all_ even-numbered. But when he began the chant with 'He loves me not' the result was the same. When he changed the words to, 'He loves me, he hates me, he doesn’t care at all', the last petal always came to 'He loves me.'

Every time. Every single time. _He loves me_.

Loki let out a hysterical sob at the last one and tried again. This was crazy. His hands hurt from so much plucking. His fingertips were smeared with gold.

He clutched a new flower in his trembling hand, squeezing it too tightly. Again he began reciting, loudly, as he plucked, as if trying to make the flower understand that he was seeking answers here.

“ _He loves me... he loves me not. He loves me..._ ”

Loki paused, actually startled to realize there was only one petal left.

He plucked it off viciously, feeling some twisted sense of relief. And dismay.

" _He loves me **not**._ "

Loki held the tiny, bruised petal between his fingers, clutching onto it like he might his last shred of hope. But it was only a stupid petal. It was nothing. Like he was nothing. Like his affections were nothing. It slipped out of his grasp even before he actually intended to let it go – such a fleeting, useless thing, impossible to hold onto. The tiny slice of yellow disappeared into the grass.

Loki clenched what was left of the flower in his hand, and pressed his fists against his face, trying to hold off tears. They came anyway.

"He doesn't love me," Loki sobbed, his voice rising to bitter anger. "Of _course_ he doesn't love me!" He could hardly breathe, too taken by grief and ugly emotions.

"Loki?"

Thor's voice came to mind and Loki went still, wondering if he had gone mad or if he was truly _that_ unfortunate. And then he heard distinctly, the whispering sound of someone walking through long grass. Thor. Thor had to come and find him, out of _anyone_. It could have been a lowly house servant, but it had to be _Thor_.

Loki trembled with the effort to remain silent, to not let any other noise escape him. It was his only dignity. Thor could know that he had been crying but he would not sit and sob in front of his brother, in front of his tormentor.

Thor was cruel. He sat down next to Loki and wrapped his arm around him, as if to comfort him, and buried his face against Loki's neck as if to share in his pain. Loki wanted to scream, and sob, and laugh all at once.

"I am sorry, Loki," Thor murmured. "I do not know who 'he' is, but he is a fool if he doesn't love you. I know it is not the same, but... I love you."

Loki wasn't sure what to say or do. He couldn't speak. He struggled simply to breathe without crying, but his shivering sniffles and smothered gasps were more than plain. Thor tightened his grasp on him, pulling him closer and holding him tightly while Loki shook silently. He was so _stupid_. Stupid to have missed the sound of Thor's approach ahead of time. Stupid to expect Thor to give him the affection he craved. Selfish to expect Thor to care about him all the time. And here Thor was, telling him he loved him after Loki had spent an entire day grieving and cursing him because he thought he _didn't_. Still, it didn't count. It was a brotherly love. A limited love. Surely? Thor would never see him as anything other than little brother.

"I am the fool," Loki whispered, hoarse when he could finally speak. Fool for falling in love with the one person he could never keep.

"No, Loki," Thor said. "You are so clever. You're smart and cunning. And beautiful," he said, almost hesitant to add the last compliment, as if Loki would take offense. But Loki was quiet, his eyes wide and shining with astonishment, and Thor gave him a bittersweet smile, knowing now that he understood Loki's trouble. At least he thought he understood. "Any man would be happy to have you."

"Not any man," Loki denied softly.

"Then they are not worthy of you," Thor said, his voice full of a confidence that Loki didn't feel. Thor seemed to notice the depth of Loki's melancholy, and he leaned closer, squeezing Loki tight and rubbing his back. "Forget about him. Or tell me his name and I shall have words," he suggested the last thing in almost a joking way, but his voice was dark with the promise of true violence against anyone who had hurt his brother. The mischievous side of Loki wished he could think of a name, any name to give Thor, but he couldn't think of anyone, and didn't want to give Thor the impression that he actually had a crush on anyone else. It was only _him_. They were both so stupid.

Loki remained quiet, only shaking his head so that Thor would let go of the idea. Thor sighed softly, disappointed at his inability to fix this in any way. He loved his brother so fiercely. He only wanted to protect him. What good was he if he couldn't?

"If you'd like," Thor said, suggesting a new idea, "I could... protect your heart for you? Your admirers would have to face me before getting to you."

"I... I would like that," Loki confessed, although he had no admirers. And if he did have any, they certainly wouldn't dare to even try speaking to him if Thor was being protective of him. But he liked the idea of Thor acting possessive. In a way, it was almost good enough.

"What are you looking for in a man?" Thor questioned, his voice soft as if he still did not want to upset Loki. "Black hair? Red? Strong? ...Well-spoken?"

Loki blinked at the realization that one day he might have to choose _someone_. If his father did allow him to be with a man at all. He sighed and slumped against Thor's shoulder. "All I want is someone who loves me. That'll be enough. If you find someone who loves me even more than you do, that would be fine for me."

Thor laughed, rubbing Loki's back again. "I'll never find anyone, in that case."

He felt Loki go tense and still against him. "No... I guess nobody would..." Loki mumbled, and Thor hastened to squeeze his brother in his arms.

"Don't say that! You mistake my words," Thor blurted out. "Loki, you are lovely. There are already people who desire you, people who will love you. I meant only that I love you so much... nobody will ever love you _more_ than I do. Perhaps almost _as_ much... but never more."

Loki felt his throat tighten, his eyes filling with tears again. But this time he wasn't so sad.

"Promise me?" Loki asked, fiddling with the flower still crushed in his fist.

"That I will always love you more than anyone? I promise, Loki. You are my brother. You are precious to my heart. Nothing will ever change that," Thor said. He pressed a kiss to Loki's cheek. "My dear darling brother," he teased, nudging their heads together.

"I love you too," Loki said, and he meant it, more than anything.

"You promise?" Thor teased, and Loki laughed.

"Yes, I promise!"

"Okay, let's go home," Thor said, sitting up and taking Loki's hand in his. He stood up and pulled Loki to his feet. Loki was too smitten to have his hand held to notice Thor's little curious frown until his brother was prying his fingers apart.

"What's this? Your flower is quite sad," Thor said, pulling the crumpled stem and yellow bud from Loki's palm to show him. "It's lost all its petals," he noted. "Oh, all but one."

All but one? Loki was horrified. Sure enough, there was a bruised little petal still clinging on to the head. Thor plucked the yellow blade... and playfully set the little petal on the tip of Loki's nose.

_He **loves** me..._

It sat there for a full second while Thor chuckled before it fell off.

"Ah, too bad," Thor said. "Here," he stooped and plucked a fresh daisy from the grass beside them. "This one is almost as lovely as you," he said, handing it to Loki with a playful air that did nothing to lessen his sincerity.

Loki accepted the gift, a small smile on his lips. But he never did like daisies. Not really. Not for himself. They reminded him of Thor. So Loki leaned up, and put the flower in a much more appropriate place.

"Hey!" Thor objected, and laughed as Loki tucked the flower into his hair. "That was yours," he said, but he made no motion to remove it.

"Yes, and I'd like you to hold it for me," Loki said, truly smiling again at long last. "It looks lovelier on you."

Thor's grin was bright enough to rival the sun. And Loki would happily go blind staring at him.

"Shall we?" Thor asked, slipping his hand back into Loki's. He did not miss how his brother quickly laced their fingers together. He squeezed Loki's hand in response.

"Can we take the long way back?" Loki asked as they began walking home. Together.

Thor lifted Loki's hand and brushed a kiss against his brother's knuckles.

"We can do whatever you wish."


End file.
